Wednesday, Feb 19th 2025, 0650-1830
Bill Williams River to Buckskin Mtns mm 88 Section 5
23 miles.
Sometime in the night I heard many splashings in the river nearby. The noise was like a loud ker-plunk, followed by another and another. It was a comical sound, bringing the image of a kid doing a cannonball into a pool. What animal would be making such a sound? Certainly not a burro. A large fish or turtle? A Bill Williams River dolphin? Gulch Otters? An Escalante beaver? God I hoped not…those were the worst!
The strange thing was, I didn’t hear any other noises like grunting, breathing, hooves on the ground, etc. Finally I landed the most plausible explanation: it must be a squadron (this is the actual, correct term) of javelina jumping into the water. I’d noted that javalina were otherwise almost silent and very stealthy, so it made sense that I didn’t hear other noises. My imagination of them plunging in full body made me giggle. The splashes went on for a while, growing distant as they crossed other channels of the river. It kept me up for a bit, but I didn’t mind. Another new and unique experience.
I woke early, eager to get away from the river once and for all. In the past, the route continued for another 8 miles or so down the river to Planet Ranch. But I guess others like me found travel along the river so horrific that Brett devised a new route through the surrounding hills. It’s probably a good thing that I got my ass handed to me in the half mile river ‘shortcut’ I took the day before, because I might have otherwise considered the old route in favor of the new one. I would have thought the flat topography was better than going up and over the hills…and I would have been very wrong.
I retraced my steps through the thick evil brush, which was hard to do in my headlamp beam. Then I immediately started up a rocky wash, which turned into a steep climb to a ridge. It was the devil I knew and I was most content with it. The views were worth it too! I could see all the way back to the towers on the Harcuvar Mountains and all the fun mountains that lay ahead. Plus I had cell service!
Only problem was, go figure, the very hill I climbed to gain the ridge had a small herd of burros on top. The jack snorted angrily as I approached, which scared the crap out of me because I didn’t initially see them. I swear their snorts are more like a roar and are quite intimidating! They were very reluctant to move off…Buck30 used the word begrudgingly…very true.
But I was thankful for the burros as I began walking the ridge line. I didn’t fancy their trails through sand and in washes because of the short, choppy divots they created, which messed with my stride. But their trails on top and along the hillsides were fantastic! Almost PCT standard. They were smooth, level and efficient, traversing the little peaks so as to not go up and down every top pointlessly (hrmm, AT). I loved this little stretch! It sure beat dying along the BWR, stuck in a quagmire of quicksand, cattails and tamarisk!
As I walked through the hills on these fantastic burro trails, I had an epiphany. Since it seems like there will no longer be federal employees to maintain trails in national parks, BLM, and Forest service lands (assuming all these public lands aren’t immediately sold off to the highest bidder, as well), perhaps we could relocate some of these burros to build and maintain trails. They could work for free and maybe even perform some other federal service employee tasks. Sure, they’d probably be terrible at maintaining facilities, removing trash, directing traffic, collecting entrance fees and providing visitor information. Public safety and search and rescue efforts would be severely strained, especially when visitors started getting lost in their maze of trails, lacking any sort of guidance from an actual human ranger. The burros might actually bite and kick visitors, which would be bad.
But as an Entitled American, who only cares about the things that I perceive to directly impact me, I would be most happy with the burro trail maintenance program. I would also have experience in deciphering which is the right trail of their nexus to choose from. I think this is such a great idea that I’m going to present it to the Evil Lord Of Nazis (E.L.O.N). I will call my plan the Replacing Competent Workers with Asses Program (ReCWAP). Ok, this doesn’t make for a great acronym, so I still need to polish it up a bit. Maybe readers can make suggestions. Asses being the key word here…that has to make the final cut. I’m sure it will be a winner since it falls so perfectly with other US government strategies at the moment. I may even get the Awesome Super Saver (ASS) award for my savvy suggestion.
I digress. I came down out of the hills and found the remnants of a decent road…that is until it disappeared into the Bill Williams river flood plain. Have no fear, the river was dry at this point, but the channel clearly had water running the course at times. The sand was so soft and deep to walk in that I wagged back and forth trying to find better terrain. Finally I found the old road again and made good progress.
The Planet Ranch facility was a rather odd duck. I guess it used to be an actual ranch and then was donated to the state? Now it was getting revamped as a wildlife habitat in support of rare desert riparian ecosystems. There was a lot of heavy machinery moving dirt around, I guess to build beaver-like ponds. I snuck over to the maintenance building and found the water tap to fill my bottles. This is actually a thing we have permission to do, thanks to Brett’s negotiations. I might have lingered a bit eating a quick lunch in the shade, but no one paid me any mind.
I went back into the heat, my pack laden with all the water I could carry, and shortly arrived at a group of information signs explaining the ongoing restoration project. A couple of side by sides rolled up at the same time and the occupants begrudgingly got out to take a look. A man skimmed over the signs for about 20 seconds and then loudly proclaimed “what a waste of money!” Give this man an ASS award!
Of course this belligerent ignoramus didn’t have the capacity to put two and two together, that he was frolicking around on public lands in his ORV, enjoying the Great Outdoors that had been so carefully preserved for us by many previous administrations and congressional acts. Several hundred years of history had led to the fact that there were still public lands, free for all to enjoy and also for nature to “take place” on the side, such as the nearby preserved desert riparian area. But probably not for much longer! Half of America, but namely the current overlords wielding immense power, all seem to think it’s a waste of money. ASS awards all around!
You know what I think is a waste of money? Well the list is quite long, but I’d start first with the BLM and Park Service developing nice level sites for all these entitled boondocker types to park their giant RVs. And then let their dogs run wild to terrorize wildlife and unsuspecting hikers. And drive all over the landscape to leave deep scars for hundreds of years to come. Well, I guess the upside is that they too will lose such privileges and I will still have a fighting chance to sneak in on foot, enjoying such spaces until the walls go up all around and they pave or bomb everything over.
I tried hard for many years not to get too political on this blog, but I just don’t care anymore. I could care less if readers are offended. I know, it’s hard to be presented with the truth, and truth offends people to no end these days. Everyone is free to go elsewhere to read stupid shit on the Internet to their heart’s content, I won’t mind.
The rest of the day was actually quite detailed and involved, but I was in a funk, fretting over how crazy our country had become. I went past many mines, up and down washes, took a side detour to explore another box canyon, and climbed to a large mesa that felt like I was at the end of the world. I kind of wished I could have stayed there. The route-finding and cross country was tough but rewarding. I came to a guzzler just before dark, collected some water, then plopped down exhausted in a wash a ways away.
I’ll end with this tidbit I pulled off the Internet about burros:
“Burros are highly intelligent and, unlike wild horses, tend to assess situations before fleeing from danger. They can defend themselves with powerful kicks and are known for standing their ground against threats, making them excellent guard animals in domestic settings.”
The intelligence part is something I’d say they have in common with us, but actually I’m not so sure about that…
